Already Annoyed

Well, My Dear Bloggers,

I'm already annoyed because I can't find out how to change the name of my blog. I am sick and tired of seeing "About Me (Deavin Slayter)" and it says to go to settings, and me being a stupid blonde,  I can't figure out where the hell settings are  even at. I figured out how to change my picture, and name, now being The Death Fairy instead of Firefighter Girl, since my job at Harrisburg Fire is no more. Now, I am just a lazy mother fucker, living with my dad, hoping to get clean off of pot sometime soon, and become a productive person with a job in this weird world full of people that could really care less about everything I ramble on my blog, that I think I am going to come back to. Because sometimes I have things I want to say, yet I don't want to write them in my journal, because I want, well and hope that maybe someone will actually read this, and care about what I have to say for once.

Like how my best friend left for a treatment program. And I told him I wasn't going to cry, but I have cried a lot. I think about him all the time, and I miss him. I miss him a lot. I just want him to come back. I know that he is doing this for a good reason, but not having him to talk to, and not being able to talk to him, and him not being able to talk to me. We always talked, about everything. From video games, to relationships, and even our sex lives. He was that one person I could talk to about everything. I just miss my best friend. I miss going to his house and playing GTA V. I miss listening to him and his little brother fight over the stupidest stuff, I miss hearing his family have their little moments. I miss waking up in the morning to a message saying, "I'm coming over." I know he is gone for a good reason, but I just want him to come home. I just feel lucky that he took a selfie or two with me before he left. Now I have pictures to look at when I miss him. And sometimes it helps, to imagine that he isn't so far away. I love my little brother, because he is more than my best friend, he is my little brother, and he always will be.

No ONe Really Understands

Dear Blog Readers,

Sometimes I feel that no one really undersntads where i am coming with things. They all seem to kind of just tell me to fuck off, in a way thats how it goes. I mean I feel so much anger and sadness, I try to just keep it to myself so taht I don't seem like a drama queen, but \its really hard to hold all of that stuff in. I just don't like how i have to hold all my emotions in. It hurts me sometimes. Ok more like all the ime. But am I supposed to tell people about that? Talking in therapy doesn't do jack for me, so there is no point in having my parents waste money on something that doesn't help me at all. I just try to deal with things on my own is all.

By, Deavin Slayter

Compalactions

Dear Blog Readers,

You know how people always wonder things about you... always wondering why you are so different than they are? Well stop wondering and just ask them about it... If you are having problems with someone just go up and talk to them about what is bothering you. Don't be nervous. It doesn't hurt to talk about how you are feeling. You have every right to talk... its a free country for fuck's sake.

Sometimes I don't like being only half human... I don't like talking to these danm spirits and have them always bother me about how to kill another one of them.... Just because I have the computer and the ways to look different things up doesn't always mean tht i have the time to do it... or maybe I just don't feel like doing it.

Why can't boyfriends just understand that we are not going to leave them unless they do something bad enough for us to want to. I just don't understand it. I mean like i just said before that everyone has the right to feel different things and express who they are and how they are feeling... but I am tired of always feeling like the bad person because I said something.... I hjust want to curl up into a ball and ball my freakin eyes out.... I am tired of feeling like i am the horrible person because I said something that hurt you that badly... I mean words shouldn't hurt me that bad... they are just words and you should never care what someone says about you or to you... unless its something good. Because bad things just normally mean that they are jealous over something that you have and that they don't I just ty to remember that so that words don't hurt me like they do most other people... I just try to remeber that there is more than what most pethetic humans think.... but I am not that human now... I had no idea before... but now I kno.... and I am very gad that I do....

by, Deavin Slayter

HOT DAYS!!!

Oh friends,

Oh the summer days seem so hot... I hate the heat. its so annoying. I just don't like sweating like a pig and having to suffer with the hotness that drowns out the fun of the day. I just like it a lot better when its cooler outside. But sadly I have to just indure with it for now. I will do it but it will take some work. Oh well. I just spend my days in the cool house adn then in the evening when its cooler I will start walking. It doesn't get dark until about ten anyway so i will have plenty of daylight to use for walking. I just can't stand thsi.

I really like computers though. They are amazing when it comes to music. I can use them to look up any song that I want and then listen to it as much as I want and thats just awesoem. I really like that part of using the computer lol. Music just expresses how you really feel about things. Thats something thats good about life and I am glad that you can have it to express how you are feeling. Thats just a good thing that I really think that I am glad we have right now.

I love talkint to Tyler. He just makes me laugh and smily... and I am glad that I have met him when I did. If I didn't met him then i think that things would have been a lot different then they are right now. But I like the way that things are lol. I am just glad that things didn't not happen like they did lol.

What's New

Hey,

Wel I figured I would get on here and start writing entries again. I forgot my password for awhile and now i know it again. I just had to do some remembering lol. Anyway a lot of things have been going on. I have been up to a lot of different things. I just got back from a trip to Washington DC and it was a lot of fun. I am really glad that I actually went on the trip. I will list a few pictures at the end... but right now I am just going to talk about it.

My trip to DC was a bunch if excitement. I am so glad tht I went. I really enjoyed myself. Just seeing different things, and making new friends... it was a ll a ton of fun. I still talk to people from there too. I still tlak to Michelle adn Tyler mostly. Well I talk to Tyler a lot because of course we are going out lol... but most people know that one... and I just really like talking to Michelle. She is just a person thats fun to talk to... and I really enjoy it lol. I learned a lot there too. I learned how people with vision impaorments can still do what they want to in life. I learned that they are making lots of new things for people that are blind and visually impaired lol. Its pretty cool that there are a lot of things that are going to be created for us. I just liked the whole trip. I am just glad that I went. If I didn't go then I wouldn't have the friends that i have now.

Poem

Our Love

Loves memory has traced our outline in this place.
But will the spider remember or the sun?
Did the water caputre our faces in perminacne?
Did the wind create us anew as it blows?
Did the shadows fromt he trees record our passage beneath them?
Our secret has been revieled.
Yet I have told no other.
I write these words in silence, in a mute testominy.
To what once was.
But our image remains alive in this place.
It cannot be removed.
You me,
We then,
Were here,
We saw the day and hoped for tomorrow.
We caught a breif glimpse of love's promise.
We are not liars,
But theives of time.
For now time has now forgotten us.
Yet or memory lingers, and love remembers.
This place that was ours.

By, Deavin Slayter
Underground Poet

My First Entry

Dear Viewers,

Blogs... ugh..... well at least I can poor out my feelings and let people read about them and not feel bad about what people really think. I mean I have always thought about what people thought, but I just don't anymore. I mena thats not who I am. I just wnat to be myself. Thats all that is important ot me now.

I think that this blog will turn out good. I don't know quite yet.... on account of I just started it and no one has really read it yet.

I hope that it works out.
Please post comments to let me know how I do.
Thanks

Deavin Slayter